Lifestyle Mental Health

The best books on how to heal

Whether it’s childhood, generational, bad breaks ups, lost friendships or bereavement, we’ve all got something to be healing from. If you don’t, congratulations. You have won in life. Please tell me all your secrets.

Something I once read, that always sticks with me. We are not responsible for our trauma, but we are responsible for healing it. Reading various books, for me has certainly helped that healing journey. So I thought I would share some of the best books I’ve read on how to heal various internal wounds.

If you want to start your healing journey…

Healing is The New High- Vex King

This book is a great starting point for your healing journey. It describes the healing process in terms of science and also touches on spirituality, finding a good balance between the two for all audiences.

It’s not too technical, and it’s not a lengthy read either but I personally found it really helpful. A great book if you want to understand the basics of how to heal.

If you want to heal… your relationships

Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant of Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find- and keep love– Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller

I touched on my love for this book and Attachment theory in a previous post. Attachment theory, in a nutshell, is the bond (or lack thereof), we have with parental figures as children and how they can affect our relationships later in our lives.

These attachments can be broken down into three main types; Avoidant, Insecure and Secure. Secure being the optimum attachment a person can have. Whilst labels can pigeonhole us when it is absolutely plausible some of us are a mixture of different attachments and our attachment style can change through the experiences we have in life. I think Attached is a great book for helping us identify where our shortcomings maybe when selecting partners.

I would also recommend Insecure in Love by Lesley Becker- Phelps which explores the Insecure attachment style in further detail.

If you want to heal… your relationship with dieting

Body Positive Power- Megan Jayne Crabbe

This book changed the way I look at eating and helped me begin healing my relationship with my body. In this book, Megan explores the Body Positive movement, her recovery from an eating disorder and how toxic the diet industry is.

If you want to heal…. your trauma

The Body Keeps The Score- Bessel van der Kolk

This is an eye-opening read for how trauma affects your body and not just your mind. It gives a comprehensive background into Bessel’s research into trauma. This definitely comes with a trigger warning as it focuses on severe forms of trauma like sexual assault and childhood abuse, so it’s not for everyone. It’s also fairly technical focusing on the Psychology of trauma. I found it super helpful but I love Psychology books.

If you want to heal…. your mother wound

The Emotionally Absent Mother: A guide to self healing and getting the love you missed- Jasmin Lee Cori

The father wound feels like it’s more openly discussed but mothers are always a different subject. Or that was my experience anyway. Mothers are supposed to give us life, nurture us when we need it and support us. If you have an absence of that, it can leave you with a wound to heal.

The book explores that beautifully. You don’t have to have had a traumatic relationship with your mother, it could just be you feel not quite healed from the way you were raised, even if all the best intentions were there. The emotionally absent mother delves into how to re-parent yourself and become your own mother in the ways you never had as a child.

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